Kestrel's Shadow
by BirdSpell
Summary: He's supposed to be a hero. Supposed to save people. But when did it get so hard to stop himself from killing his own teammates? Rated T for mild swearing and simulated death.


Kestrel's Shadow

**Hey guys! So, a little while ago I found out about the Court of Owls storyline. You know, the one where Nightwing's supposed to become an assassin, but his parents dying saves him from it, yada yada? Anyhoo, I've been completely obsessed with it ever since. I've been thinking, what if he did become an assassin for a couple years, then Batman saved him? And that's where this comes from, because I wanted to do one of these, and during Failsafe assassin training would probably be hard to kick out of your head. I've been talking for way too long, let's just start the story.**

**I own nothing, italics are thoughts.**

It wasn't real.

Robin could tell.

He knew that the second Artemis had 'died,' something, probably from M'gann, had taken over, causing the Team to forget that it was a simulation, but is training had allowed him to catch the differences between the simulated world and the real world. After all, J'onn didn't know everything, so there were things he'd missed. He'd tried to tell the others, but they couldn't see past M'gann's mental... block, he supposed you could call it. They thought he was just denying what had happened. Artemis, he knew, would understand. She had the same kind of training he did.

Assassin training.

The Team had no clue what sort of training the two of them had been given, even Artemis was unaware of the connection between them. His training, he knew, was harsher than hers, in a school where a mistake meant a beating and letting a target escape- though it never happened –meant death, but it was the same basic principle.

In order for them to escape the simulation, he could either wait for everyone to die, which could possibly take a long time and emotionally and psychologically scar them all for life, or...

_Kill the Martians._

_...Hello Kestrel._

Kestrel. That name embodied two years of brutal training and assassinations, the two years between his parents dying and Bruce taking him in. That voice was his assassin training, calling up his time with the Court. Kestrel had told him this was a simulation, and now Kestrel was telling him the fastest way to escape it. And it was a good plan, in a way. There was just one problem.

_I don't kill. I can't kill._

_You could if you tried. You used to._

_That was five years ago. Besides, they're my friends, I can't just-_

_They are putting all of your lives in danger! If- no, when –someone dies in here, their minds will be so certain they're really dead that they will fall into a coma!_

_You told me that if M'gann 'died,' everyone will remember it was a simulation. Or, if everyone but M'gann 'dies,' and J'onn actually enters the exercise to regain control, then he'll be able to shock her out of it._

_Yes, but it might be too late for those who are already out of the exercise._

_Why are you always so pessimistic?_

_I am not pessimistic. I am merely looking at this in a logical manner._

_...Whatever helps you sleep at night._

"Robin. We're here."

"Huh? Oh, right. Thanks, Aqualad."

Robin followed the rest of the Team out of the bioship, joining them by the cut off heads of the League's statues.

_Nice touch._

_If they won't believe the fact that this isn't real, you should go along with it. That way, if you wake up, they won't be able to yell at you for not telling them, even though you did._

_I doubt they'll do that, but sure._

Going through his thoughts, Dick shifted his mind and body into the picture of barely suppressed grief, resting his hand on the Batman statue's head and looking down.

"They're really gone."

The next few minutes were a blur. M'gann finding her uncle, the aliens approaching, Aqualad getting disintegrated. The next moment that was clear was M'gann yelling at him.

"No! He's using you as bait! Aqualad would never have done that!"

"No. Aqualad would have sacrificed himself, a mistake that just cost us our leader. We'll head out tomorrow night, try to get some sleep."

He doubted anyone would get much rest, least of all him, but he had to try. Later that night he sat on his bed, trying to think of a way to lure M'gann and J'onn somewhere they would be certain to die. It felt incredibly wrong to try and think of a way to cause his friends' deaths, but he didn't know what else to do.

_You could do it yourself. You keep a set of knives in here, take them out, go to Miss Martian's room, two quick slashes across their throats and everyone is home free._

_It's not that easy. For one thing, as mentioned earlier, I'm not a killer._

_Anymore._

_Not a killer anymore. For another, even if I could kill them, it would take several seconds for them to die. They'd wake up and see me._

_Don't you keep a Talon uniform in here?_

_Yes, in reality. But this isn't reality. J'onn doesn't know I was an assassin, so there isn't any of my gear. The knives are here because he saw them once._

_What did you tell him?_

_I told him they were a souvenir from a brush with the Court of Owls. It was technically true._

_Back to our original topic...If you don't kill the Martians, you may doom Artemis and Kaldur to lives spent in comas! Kill them!_

"No!"

Robin pressed one hand over his mouth.

_Please don't let anyone have heard..._

"Robin?"

"Oh, hey Conner."

"I, uh, heard you yelling. You okay?"

"Yeah, just a dream."

The lie came easily. After all, this was a dream. A nightmare.

"I guess nobody's having a good night. Well, see you in a few hours." He left quietly.

_That was close._

_Too close. Be more careful._

_Me?! You were the one yelling at me!_

_Quiet! If your thoughts are too loud the Martians could hear!_

_Maybe I can brain blast them into oblivion._

_Good idea- that was sarcasm, wasn't it._

_Oh yeah._

The next evening came far too fast. He didn't really pay attention during most of the mission, instead concentrating on the fact that there were only three- "No! He's gone..." _Okay, two. _–obstacles to them being free of this living hell. He only started paying attention as the explosives were set.

"J'onn, get M'gann out of here. We'll follow as soon as we blow those doors."

_You could have blown them up._

_They could escape. It's the leaderlike thing to do, and besides, once the ship blows J'onn will be able to shock her out of this anyways._

The explosion sent agony racing through Dick's body.

_It's not real, it's nearly over._

After the explosion, everything was dark. Very dark. And silent as the grave.

_It's practically done. About now, J'onn'll be shocking M'gann out of the exercise._

Robin woke with a soft gasp. He could still feel flames licking around his body. Tuning out the explanation of what happened, he began the process of pulling his thoughts back together, regaining control of his emotions.

_I told you I didn't have to kill them._

_I was kind of an ass, wasn't I?_

_Yeah... but hey, it's over now._

_How are you so unfailingly optimistic?_

_The same way you're so unfailingly pessimistic._

_Touché._

Bruce caught his eye and made a quick motion towards the zeta tubes. Dick nodded and stood, making his way over to his father.

He was finally going home.

**~Linebreak~**

Blood.

Martian blood.

His hands were covered in it, the thick liquid dripping from the knife that was grasped in his right hand. Robin looked down and gasped. M'gann lay at his feet, her throat neatly slit open, like all his other victims. She was still alive, just, and the blood gushed out of the gash in time with her heartbeat.

"R-robin... how... could you..."

She took one final gasp of air and died, her eyes still full of horror.

_No..._

He heard a strangled cry from behind him.

"What have you done?!"

"Guys, I-"

But they were backing away, eyes full of hatred and disgust.

"Please, I don't know what happened! Please, please listen to me!"

They all fled from him, none of them willing to listen to a word he said. All of them ran. All of them except Artemis. The archer came and knelt beside him, gently closing M'gann's eyes with one hand.

"A-artemis?"

"You killed her," She whispered. "You-you're a monster."

"Artemis, please, I-"

She looked up, eyes full of sadness. "Just... go."

Robin fled, desperately trying to escape. He ran straight into someone. Looking up, he saw it was his mentor, his father.

"Bruce?"

"I'm sorry Richard. After... this... you can't be Robin anymore. You're not a hero."

"No! No, you have to believe me, I don't know what happened! Please believe me!"

Bruce glared at him coldly, eyes full of revulsion. "No, I think you knew exactly what you were doing."

"No, please no!"

But his father faded away into the mist surrounding him. Dick turned around, hunting for anything, anyone who might believe him. He saw an outline in the mist. Drawing closer, he realized it was Zatanna.

"Zee?"

She gazed at him sadly. "To think, I loved you once."

"Y-you love me?"

"Love you?" she scoffed. "I can't even look at you!"

She faded away, vanishing like a breeze. He was alone.

"No!"

Dick sat bolt upright and stared around. He was in his room at Wayne Manor.

_I-it was all a dream... but I... and they..._

The door slid open and Bruce ran in. Seeing his son sitting with his arms around his legs, eyes wide with terror, he sat beside the boy and wrapped his arms around him. Dick allowed himself to sob, desperate, racking sobs that shook his slender frame, as he buried his face in his father's chest. Bruce gently ran a hand through the teen's black hair.

"Nightmare?"

"Y-yeah."

"The usual?" Dick often dreamed of his family's death, but this time he shook his head.

"Kestrel." The bird's voice was barely a whisper.

"Don't worry little bird, it wasn't real. What happened?"

Dreams about Kestrel were rare now, but they used to happen almost every night. Dick would kill someone, usually Bruce, causing everyone to hate him.

"I-I killed Miss M, and then you and the Team a-and Zee, you all h-hated me, and..."

"M'gann? If it was one of the Team I would've ezpected Wally... sorry, didn't mean to say that out loud."

"D-during the simulation... K-kestrel told m-me that if I k-killed M'gann and J'onn w-we'd all wake up. I r-refused, but... B-bruce, if it had gone on much l-longer, I would've... would've..."

Bruce pulled the boy a bit closer.

"No, you wouldn't. I know you better than... they... ever did, and I know you would never have hurt anyone on the Team, no matter what Kestrel said. You're Robin now, not Kestrel. Just because he's part of you doesn't mean you have to do what he wants you to. Besides, he's a nice guy most of the time, isn't he?"

Dick stared at him. "H-how did you know-"

"He's part of you, Dick, not the other way around. And nothing that's part of you could ever be truly evil."

"Thanks Bruce. He is a n-nice guy, most of the time."

"All you have to do is ignore him when he wants you to kill, or hurt someone you care about. You can do that, right?"

"Right."

Bruce was right. He was Robin now. It was time to stop living in Kestrel's shadow.

**There! After an hour and fifty one minutes, I've finally finished typing! Long documents are such a pain to type up.** **Moving on, until next time and**

**REVIEW**

**-Bird**


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